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Thursday, 29 August 2013
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
Friday, 2 August 2013
A Mid-2013 Reflection
As we enter the second half of 2013, I think back to what a strange year this has been in what seems like a long seven months which have included both highs and lows.
Firstly I would like to link to a blog which inspired me to create this post which was written by @MsCityRedGirl - 'It's been a while, I'm not who I was before' in which she reflects on her recent thoughts and is truly a good read.
Usually, in reflection I revert to listing thoughts rather than really exploring the past for what it truly is so I think the best place to start is on my recent relationship which even now seems a while ago and say that I will always keep the good memories such as being up on Blackpool Tower with Letitia terrified of standing on the glass walkway even though there was nothing to fear or sitting up on Ashurst Beacon exploring the wide view ahead of us.
There are bad thoughts which sadly would sour any future reconciliation such as the fact I loaned her money to buy a new 'wardrobe' as she wanted to change her style only after the relationship ended to be told there would be no chance she would pay any more back than the £80/£300 I received which we were still dating, another key thought is that she once told me that her dad had promised to take her to Anfield for her first visit only to not have the opportunity when he sadly passed away last September.
So being the caring boyfriend I organised a trip to S. Gerrard's Testimonial game which takes place this weekend but when we broke up she said it wouldn't feel right to go and we broke contact but this past week, she got back in contact asking about the game and for some reason I felt some weird joy at telling her that I had sold the ticket as otherwise it would have gone to waste while at the same time feeling sad that her dream would have to wait because of her stubbornness.
Obviously, I am still going and will enjoy the game but there will be that slight thought of what might have been but to quash it basically say ' It is her loss, I tried and she didn't want to'.
Anyway enough about that and onto better things which makes me think of the change I have seen in what I do outside of work as in the past I would just sit in the house either on the XBOX or going to the regular Warriors home games but this last few months have been different as I pushed myself to attend my first away game which was Warrington in June.
All the build up was nerves but as I got onto the terraces, I felt a rush of adrenaline which I hadn't felt before and threw myself into joining in the chants and really letting myself go to the point of losing my voice and even though it was a loss it inspired me to do it again so since the visit to Wire, I have been to St Helens which sadly was another loss.
But then to LSV for the Semi Final which was a crushing win and had propelled me to go to the final later this month solo which I will have nerves about as it will be the furthest I have travelled without having familiar company but to hell with that as visiting Wembley is a dream come true having not had the confidence to do the trip before.
Work has been a constant mix of thoughts with my 'underperformance' being an issue and in the coming weeks I will enter a capability review which in my view is not me being lazy but not being as quick as other colleagues but the powers that be don't seem to take that in and to be honest I just want out of the place.
Back in 2008 when I started the job was a joy but in recent months it is as thought walking in is going into a death march as the morale of the warehouse is terrible, the amount of people being pulled up for under performing is more than that of those not being reviewed which surely shows that something is wrong if the majority are struggling but until the next review there is nothing I can say about it.
So to summarise the vast blog I have written, I am pushing myself to try more new things, I need a new job to turn my morale around and lastly it is probably a good idea to stay single for a while or should that be no choice but to as who else would want me?
Firstly I would like to link to a blog which inspired me to create this post which was written by @MsCityRedGirl - 'It's been a while, I'm not who I was before' in which she reflects on her recent thoughts and is truly a good read.
Usually, in reflection I revert to listing thoughts rather than really exploring the past for what it truly is so I think the best place to start is on my recent relationship which even now seems a while ago and say that I will always keep the good memories such as being up on Blackpool Tower with Letitia terrified of standing on the glass walkway even though there was nothing to fear or sitting up on Ashurst Beacon exploring the wide view ahead of us.
There are bad thoughts which sadly would sour any future reconciliation such as the fact I loaned her money to buy a new 'wardrobe' as she wanted to change her style only after the relationship ended to be told there would be no chance she would pay any more back than the £80/£300 I received which we were still dating, another key thought is that she once told me that her dad had promised to take her to Anfield for her first visit only to not have the opportunity when he sadly passed away last September.
So being the caring boyfriend I organised a trip to S. Gerrard's Testimonial game which takes place this weekend but when we broke up she said it wouldn't feel right to go and we broke contact but this past week, she got back in contact asking about the game and for some reason I felt some weird joy at telling her that I had sold the ticket as otherwise it would have gone to waste while at the same time feeling sad that her dream would have to wait because of her stubbornness.
Obviously, I am still going and will enjoy the game but there will be that slight thought of what might have been but to quash it basically say ' It is her loss, I tried and she didn't want to'.
Anyway enough about that and onto better things which makes me think of the change I have seen in what I do outside of work as in the past I would just sit in the house either on the XBOX or going to the regular Warriors home games but this last few months have been different as I pushed myself to attend my first away game which was Warrington in June.
All the build up was nerves but as I got onto the terraces, I felt a rush of adrenaline which I hadn't felt before and threw myself into joining in the chants and really letting myself go to the point of losing my voice and even though it was a loss it inspired me to do it again so since the visit to Wire, I have been to St Helens which sadly was another loss.
But then to LSV for the Semi Final which was a crushing win and had propelled me to go to the final later this month solo which I will have nerves about as it will be the furthest I have travelled without having familiar company but to hell with that as visiting Wembley is a dream come true having not had the confidence to do the trip before.
Work has been a constant mix of thoughts with my 'underperformance' being an issue and in the coming weeks I will enter a capability review which in my view is not me being lazy but not being as quick as other colleagues but the powers that be don't seem to take that in and to be honest I just want out of the place.
Back in 2008 when I started the job was a joy but in recent months it is as thought walking in is going into a death march as the morale of the warehouse is terrible, the amount of people being pulled up for under performing is more than that of those not being reviewed which surely shows that something is wrong if the majority are struggling but until the next review there is nothing I can say about it.
So to summarise the vast blog I have written, I am pushing myself to try more new things, I need a new job to turn my morale around and lastly it is probably a good idea to stay single for a while or should that be no choice but to as who else would want me?
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